The Lost Art of Paying Attention
A Deep Dive
Hello beautiful souls!
This deep dive focuses on how we’ve been freely handing over our capacity for focus, attention and deep thinking without consent, ending up suffocated by surface-level thinking and how we can take back our time, our focus and our attention.
Warmly, Sharon
Prefer the audio version of this deep dive? Click Play to listen in!
It’s like living in a world of tiny, intentional interruptions that keep our minds skimming the surface rather than sinking into anything meaningful.
What if I told you that social media is rewiring your brain? You knew that already though, didn’t you?
Not in a cool, Matrix-style way, either. More like a sneaky remodel you didn’t ask for, swapping deep thoughts for shallow distractions and short-term hits of dopamine. If that doesn’t feel very “you,” well, that’s because it’s not. And yet, here we are - scrolling, clicking, skimming - while our ability to focus is quietly slipping out the back door, and we are just happily handing it over without consent.
A few weeks ago, while wandering a bookstore (a true act of rebellion these days), I stumbled across a book titled Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—and How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari. Naturally, I found the audiobook version on Spotify because I do enjoy a good listen while making breakfast! (Sidenote: Did you know Spotify Premium includes tons of audiobooks? You’re welcome.) The cliff notes?
Hari dives into how our hyper-connected, tech-driven world is essentially pickpocketing our attention. From addictive algorithms to productivity pressure cookers, the system is rigged to keep us distracted. But, it’s not your fault. The problem is systemic, not personal. Hari offers hope though—solutions like mindfulness, better tech boundaries, and even societal changes that could help us reclaim the focus we’ve lost.
And then, because life loves some synchronicity, I interviewed for a company called Yondr. Its whole mission is to create phone-free zones using lockable pouches. Picture comedy shows, concerts, or even classrooms where people are, wait for it…present. The founder, Graham Dugoni, described it beautifully by saying that he believed that society would need protected places - something akin to National Parks - where the human spirit could thrive and creativity and productivity could flourish in the absence of technology. Cue all my nostalgic feels.
Growing up, my lunchroom wasn’t a sea of glowing screens. It was messy and loud, full of real conversations and moments that didn’t live on Snapchat. Today, kids don’t just eat lunch; they broadcast it. Phones have stolen a kind of freedom that once felt so natural—freedom to connect, to learn, to just be without the constant hum of “likes” and notifications. It’s emotional to imagine the loss of these formative experiences for our children.
And it’s not just kids. We live in a world where surface-level thinking is the default. Algorithms are designed to keep us skimming, not swimming. Psychologists call this “surface-level processing”—basically, staying in the shallow end of the pool instead of diving into real understanding. Sure, it’s useful for quick wins (looking at you, cramming-for-exams self), but it’s not where fulfillment lives.
What happens when we stay in the shallow end too long? Enter languishing. That foggy, meh feeling where you’re not sad, but definitely not thriving because you’re not using your brain the way you’re supposed to use it. Psychologist Corey Keyes describes it as the opposite of flourishing—a state where your soul feels like it’s checked out for a long nap. I think of it a little like your soul being disconnected from your personality.
I have come to realize just how intentional I have to be if I want to dive deeper, to bypass those shallow habits, and to relearn how to focus.
When I was younger, I believed that being a “doer” was what would lead me to success. My environment taught me that “doing” was the engine that would propel me forward, earn accolades, and open doors. So, I became an expert at moving the needle forward, at accomplishing. I do value that part of me. But I’ve come to realize it’s easy to get tangled up in doing rather than being, and it’s in the being - in the stillness and reflection - that the real, deep work happens. In being is where we create space for deep thinking.
Deep thinking, though, doesn’t just show up uninvited. It takes effort, intention, and a willingness to disconnect from the noise. For me, it’s meant setting boundaries with my phone, carving out moments of presence, and remembering what it feels like to be completely absorbed in something—like those Saturday mornings painting little ceramic figurines. Time melted away. I wasn’t just doing; I was flowing.
Flow, in my thoughts is that magical state where focus meets joy, is the antidote to shallow distractions. It’s where we reconnect with ourselves and the world around us. And in a world obsessed with multitasking, reclaiming that state feels like an act of defiance and self-care.
So, here’s my invitation: let’s reclaim our attention. Let’s protect it like it’s the most valuable thing we own - because it is. For me, that means limiting social media, finding my flow, and giving myself permission to think deeply about what really matters. For you? Well, that’s your call. But maybe it starts with one small act of presence today. Maybe it starts now.
Here’s the power we do have: every single time we choose depth over distraction, we’re taking back a little piece of ourselves.
How do we reclaim our focus when it feels like the world around us is constantly working to steal it? How do we stop getting lost in the scroll? The answer isn’t a total phone ban or a grand tech rebellion (although Stolen Focus does make it tempting).
Here’s the power we do have: every single time we choose depth over distraction, we’re taking back a little piece of ourselves. We’re not just dodging distractions; we’re making room for the things that make you feel alive - flow, empathy, creativity, and ideas that can really go somewhere.
In finding micro-moments of depth, we can reclaim what it means to think, feel, and connect meaningfully—not just for ourselves, but for everyone in our sphere.
Here are some simple ways to begin creating moments of depth:
Digital Boundaries: Dedicate pockets of time for digital detox—no notifications, no pings, just you and the task at hand. Check out the app Roots to support your detox!
Single-Tasking: Ditch multitasking. Yes, it feels productive, but it’s a siren song for surface processing.
Active Engagement: Challenge yourself with deeper learning methods. Summarize what you read, debate ideas with friends, or teach a concept to someone else. If you need a quirky touchstone: imagine you’re explaining quantum physics to your dog. Trust me, your dog will give you full attention, and you’ll need to simplify in ways that test your own understanding.
Mindful Reading: Don’t skim—pause and reflect on sections that spark interest. Ask, “Why does this matter?” or “How does this connect?”
Flow Time: Schedule uninterrupted time to do something immersive—a hobby, a complex puzzle, or writing.
Pause and Reflect: Before diving into your next task, ask yourself what you’re curious about? What do you want to learn that could fuel your personal or professional growth?
Create Exploration Time: Block out time on your calendar dedicated solely to exploration. Whether it’s reading, attending a workshop, brainstorming new ideas, or talking to new people this space is essential for time “being” rather than “doing”.
Be Intentional About What You Explore: With endless possibilities, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Focus on areas that spark genuine curiosity or align with long-term goals. Not everything is worth exploring, but the right things are worth the time. Give it a try and see how it feels.
